honksy:

*on my deathbed*

nurse: do you have any last words

me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….

*the light goes out of my eyes*

*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*

*the paper says one word only*

“sike”

friskygrandma:

I!!!DONT!!!WANNA!!!CARE!!!ABOUT!!!MY!!!WEIGHT!!! BUT!!!I!!!DO!!!

toadlyoko:

So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.